Very Funny Family Quotes and Sayings Short That Make You Laugh Hard

Funny family quotes short are the quotes about a family that make you smile and happy, great sense of humor will make anyone laugh and here the best collection of fun will amaze you, after reading I hope you will love it and will share it with your family and friends to make them happy with you too.

The family is the biggest blessings one has and everyone wants the happy and funny family to spend their lives. The family is the only place where people don't bore even living for decades.

You don't need loudspeakers when you have younger siblings.

I can't use my mobile in my family every time I use kids are more interested in my personal chats.

Add a dash of levity with these amusing family quotes, which are ideal for family vacation quotes, Christmas family quotes, or just a lighthearted reminder of all the family peculiarities.

They're the ones who stand by your side when you need help; they're the ones who congratulate you on your achievements, and they're the ones who laugh with you (and only occasionally at you) through your most embarrassing gaffes.

Give these inspirational quotes about family, ranging from brief family love quotes to funny-yet-endearing words about family, a read in honor of the individuals in your tribe–your people.

Because if you weren't already feeling the love for your loved ones, these 101 family quotations and sayings will make you feel good about them—no matter how crazy they are!

Select your favorite amusing family quotations and distribute them to everyone in your family chat.

Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.

Good News: The holidays are about family. Bad News: It has to be your own family.

Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one I seem to have a few extras.

Strangers think I’m great. My friends think I’m eccentric. My family knows that I am completely insane!

Husband wife funny quotes 

• “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
• “Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”—Unknown
• “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”—Jim Carrey
• “The man who says his wife can’t take a joke forgets that she took him.”—Oscar Wilde
• “My husband thinks I’m crazy, but he’s the one who married me.”—Unknown
• “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”—Rita Rudner
• “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
• “Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing research on his wife.”—Pawan Mishra
• “Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.”—Clint Eastwood
• “Husbands and wives are irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”–Janet Periat

Funny family quotes that will make you laugh

1. “I was normal two kids ago.”  
2. “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.”  
3. “Well, that escalated quickly” is our family motto.”
4. “The bigger your family, the bigger your problems.”
5. “Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.”
6. “If you think I’m crazy wait till you meet my family.”  
7. “I sustain myself with the love of family.” – Maya Angelou
8. “We are more than family. We are like a really small gang.” 
9. “Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown Circus.”

Funny family quotes about grandparents in our family

• “The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
• “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was  She’s  now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres 
• “To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
• “Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
• “As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
• “A baby boy has a way of making a man out of his father, and a little boy out of his grandfather.”—Angie Papadakis

Children quotes funny

• “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”—P.J. O’Rourke 
• “You know what it’s like having five kids? Imagine you’re drowning. And someone hands you a baby.”—Jim Gaffigan 
• “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller 
• “When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.”—Henry Fielding
• “Children are a great comfort to us in our old age, and they help us reach it faster, too.”—John Ruskin
• “Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
• “A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”—Jerry Seinfeld 
• “When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is, “Please forget.””—Unknown
• “The reason I love kids so much is that they’re so honest, so you know right away if they like you or they don’t.”—Colin Egglesfield
• “Having one kid makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.”—David Frost

Parents quote funny

1. “It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The  Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
2. “When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”—Erma Bombeck
3. “Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
4. “My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
5. “Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
6. “It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
7. “My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
8. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White

Family is burden funny quotes

• “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” –George Burns
• “The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.” –Marge Kennedy
• “Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.” - Unknown
• “Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
• “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”

Family quotes that are funny enough to make you laugh

If you don't believe ghosts funny quotes family

"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant

A social unit funny quotes

"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar

Some families funny quotes 

"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence

Family unit funny quotes

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash

In the family funny quotes

"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen

Funny quote about family relatives

"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw

A night with a family funny quote

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going." - George Carlin

Cant introduce my family quotes funny

"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family." - Chelsea Handler

Cute funny quotes about parents

Since the kid was born, I've been sleeping like a baby — not at all!

What's it like to be a parent? Question after question paired with congestion and indigestion.

What's the fastest way to feel the effects of old age? Become a parent!

Insanity is contagious: Parents catch it from their kids!

Ah, the wonders of parenting. I wonder where all my time goes. I wonder why I don't have any money.

Why did I think it would be fun to have a smaller version of me in the house?

Kids bring a lot of light into your life. Just check the power bill if you don't believe me.

From crawler to toddler to elementary school scholar, then onward to tween quickly followed by teen, the years will go by faster than anything you've seen.

Having a third child means you have to adjust from man coverage to zone defense.

My greatest fear is that my teenage child will do what I did during my own teenage years.

Of your home, you'll no longer be the queen when your sweet little child first becomes a tween.

Funniest quotes on family

You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls. -- Unknown

When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them. -- Emo Phillips

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. -- Chelsea Handler

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same. -- Robert Brault

Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts. -- Wayne Huizenga

Funny captions about family

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops -- Cary Grant

One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with. -- Ogden Nash

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended – and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended. -- Robert Frost

A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. -- H. L. Mencken

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. -- Rodney Dangerfield

Funny quotes about the crazy family

My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called “Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film”. -- Penelope Lombard

The families of one’s friends are always a disappointment. -- Norman Douglas

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. -- Erma Bombeck

Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex, and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired. -- Delia Ephron

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. -- Jeff Foxworthy

Bleeding ulcers run in my family. We give them to each other. -- Lois McMaster Bujold

A family is a unit composed not only of children, but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. -- Ogden Nash

Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie – not perfect but who’s complaining? -- Robert Brault

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. -- Buddy Hackett

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. -- Lewis Grizzard

Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl – no superior alternative has yet been found. -- Winston Churchill

I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast? -- Jeff Lindsay

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. -- Jerry Seinfeld

Never judge someone by their relatives. -- Charles Martin

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness. -- Nancy Mitford

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. --  Bertrand Russell

If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange. It’s a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct. -- Letty Cottin Pogrebin

I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on. -- Ugo Betti

Funniest quotes on family

Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member does or says.

Where there is family, there is love.

Family gives you the roots to stand tall and strong.

Family love is never broken.

It only takes two to make a family.

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts. -- Les Dawson

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back. -- Earl Wilson

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions. -- Robert Brault

Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off. -- Ralph Bus

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. -- W.C. Fields

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom. -- Bob Hope

The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it. -- Erma Bombeck

Family quotes short funny with humor

One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family. -- Jonathan Safran Foer

From the ages of -, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge. -- Jarod Kintz

Family is just an accident...They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are. -- Marsha Norman

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that members were not present and subjects discussed were one and the same. -- Robert Brault

Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says. -- Marcelina Hardy

In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are at least two-thirds incontinent. -- Robert Brault

I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. -- Anthony Anderson

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. -- George Bernard Shaw

In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry. -- Margaret Laurence

I am the only person in my family who is not accepted till now -- unknown

There is not a single day where I was not abused by my father. -- unknow

I don't have any relation with my family when there is special food cooked. -- unknown

Funny quotes about family dinner

Humans are not proud of their ancestors and rarely invite them round to dinner. -- Douglas Adams

Sister quote funny

Never let an angry sister comb your hair. -- Patricia McCann